Reader,
I’ve been pretty successful at keeping up with regular reading this year and there’s been a strong focus on subjects like business and personal development. I’m no self-help junkie…that’s just the way the cookie crumbled for me this year.
One of the more poignant reads for me has been “The Subtle Art of not Giving a F*ck” by Mark Manson which was first released in 2016, and has been sitting on my Kindle forever, taunting me.
Maybe I’m just in a place to be more receptive, or maybe I dig the frankness of the content...or maybe I’m just a sucker for a catchy title.
Whatever the reason, there are a few idea in here that have stuck with me that I think help frame some of the creative and professional struggles many of us encounter day-to-day.
Let's peel the "Value Onion", if you will...
In particular, the section on Good vs. Bad Values was a standout and thought I’d toss a few quotes your way with some personal reflection.
Hopefully you find this helpful.
#1
“Good values are 1) reality-based, 2) socially constructive, and 3) immediate and controllable. Bad values are 1) superstitious, 2) socially destructive, and 3) not immediate or controllable.”
Manson goes on to give a few examples of each. Here’s an abbreviated list that resonated the most with me:
😇 The Good:
- honesty
- innovation
- vulnerability
- humility
- creativity
|
|
😈 The Bad:
- feeling good all the time
- always being the center of attention
- being liked by everybody
- being rich for the sake of being rich
|
🎬 My Take:
Creative professions are rife with comparison and, in many ways, can make you value the superficial and fleeting rather than the meat & potatoes of life.
Just think about the social media landscape that exists today. It’s engineered to make you think that being the center of attention makes you valuable.
And if you don’t have that attention, you’re worthless.
Now, flip the coin and look back at “The Good” list.
If we can all adopt a level of being honest with ourselves, allow ourselves to be vulnerable (even when it feels uncomfortable) and be humble in how we embrace of our own, unique creativity, we can get to a more natural alignment between our inner values and how we show up in the world.
#2
“Our values determine the nature of our problems, and the nature of our problems determines the quality of our lives.”
Let’s see if any of the following resonate with you:
- My value is in the caliber of jobs I work on
- If I’m not making “x” amount of money from my craft I’m a failure
- I MUST define myself as something specific or no one will value what I have to offer
- I need to sell out shows / sell tons of records to be successful
In some way, shape or form, I’ve personally struggled with all of these (and honestly, still do at times).
If we tie our internal value system to things we have absolutely no control over, it’s going to make for a very bad time.
Yes, we all want to work on bigger and better jobs or make a better day rate (this makes particular sense if you’re in the film world) but, take it from me, neither of those things will make you any happier at your core.
You will always keep searching for the next opportunity to get that “fix”.
You can’t control what opportunities ultimately come your way, so why should your self-worth be mixed up with all of that?
Instead, focus on what you can control:
- Being the best partner/parent you can be
- Strengthening and maintaining friendships
- Creating something because you WANT to, not because you think it’s a means to an end
#3
“If you want to change how you see your problems, you have to change what you value and/or how you measure failure/success.”
For this one, I’m going to start with a direct reference from the book, where Manson gives the example of guitarist, and founder of the metal band, Megadeth, Dave Mustaine.
Dave Mustaine was the first lead guitarist of Metallica, likely the biggest heavy metal band of all time. Before they struck it big, Dave was kicked out of Metallica and sent home on a one way bus across the country.
Now, Mustaine managed to pull himself up, start a new band (Megadeth) and go on to sell something like 25 million albums, make a ton of money and be wildly successful.
He shouldn’t have had a care in the world. However, his internal values were tied up in his self-comparison to Metallica.
To quote Manson directly,
“Dave Mustaine, whether he realized it or not, chose to measure himself by whether he was more successful and popular than Metallica. The experience of getting thrown out of his former band was so painful for him that he adopted 'success relative to Metallica' as the metric by which to measure himself and his music career”
Dave Mustaine couldn’t let go.
He couldn’t change the problems he had because he couldn’t change how he measured his own value…even after achieving legitimate rock-star status of his own accord.
So, how do we, as creative professionals, entrepreneurs, artists, etc. do better for ourselves?
How can we ensure we have a value system that will ultimately lead to a more fulfilled life?
For me, regular self-reflection has been pivotal.
- Journaling
- Jotting down quick thoughts
- Reading
- Challenging old frameworks
These are all things that can work wonders in getting your internal values aligned.
Having ambition for one’s life isn’t inherently bad.
It’s when that ambition starts to supersede the best parts of you that it becomes easier to lose your way and what you value.
Did any of this resonate? Do you have your own take? Let me know!
🔥 Hot Takes
- 💣Arcane Season 2 - I am fully obsessed with this animated Netflix series, full stop. The first season is amazing and this second (and final) season of this show is a masterclass in storytelling in every aspect from writing and character development to cinematography. If you’re an animation skeptic, I suggest you give this a watch. It delivers in spades. Riot Games partnered with French animation studio, Fortiche and they absolutely killed it. I can’t stop thinking about it.
- 🧱Brick - Like most of you, I find my phone an increasing point of distraction…especially when actually trying to get things done or be present in my life. I ran across this little NFC device that temporarily removes distracting apps and their notifications from your phone. The clincher here is that you physically need to tap your phone to the NFC tag to unlock said apps. It introduces the right amount of friction to keep me focused and less distracted
How we can do more together
When you’re ready, here’s how I can help:
🎙️ My Podcast: My free podcast, No Set Path, unpacks life as a creative entrepreneur through unfiltered conversations and personal stories.
☎️ Discovery Call: I help creatives and entrepreneurs build their authority and expertise online by looking and sounding their best. It’s all in how you show up. If that sounds like you, let’s talk and see if we might be a good fit to work together.
Have a great week.
✌🏻Drew
P.S. Did someone forward this to you? Subscribe here.
P.P.S. If something here resonated with you, please reply. I'd love to hear what's on your mind.
